Marriage and decorating styles

(MyHomeIdeas) -- In the midst of the joyful experience of joining your life to another, it is disconcertingly easy to fall into marital discord over issues of furniture and décor. When one person has strong feelings about design, their beloved often needs to be handled with care in the process of decorating the nuptial abode. Follow our advice for getting the look you want and living happily ever after.

Choose your battles

This is good marital advice for the ages, but especially when merging furniture. Let him keep his ratty recliner, or beloved sofa, but gently suggest it be recovered in a fabric of your choice. Respect his need for a space that reflects his taste as well as yours.

However, if he begins suggesting furniture that evokes office décor, put your foot down and remind him that a home should be a haven from the business world. One recent newlywed permitted her husband's hunting trophies in the house, but only in his office, where he can admire his dominion over the animal world in private.

Be selective, not secretive

Don't ask for your spouse's participation in every decision. If he or she is design-impaired, they will simply be intimidated by the abundance of choices. If you show him a magazine picture of an elaborately draped bed, he will be so alarmed by the bed hangings that he'll be unable to see the charming shape of the headboard.

Keep him in the loop by sharing your most subdued paint color choices and conservative furniture selections. Keep your riskier decisions to yourself until their successful integration proves your design genius.

Size matters

Make sure there are comfortable places to sit. If your husband is tall, make sure there's a chair with a deep enough seat for his legs. The man-cave is evidence that men have been exiled from the American living room, which is a shame. Decorate with a man's larger frame and seating habits in mind.

If he likes to put his feet up, put an ottoman table in front of his favorite chair. Dallas designer Cathy Kincaid observes that "men like to sit with their backs to the wall," so she makes sure to position a commodious chair in close proximity to a wall.

Color commentary

If you love a colorful paint scheme, you will set yourself up for disappointment if you ask for spousal support in the planning stages. Nothing sets off alarm bells more than a fanned out assortment of vivid paint chips. It is very difficult, if not impossible, for the design neophyte to make the imaginative leap from that screaming orange on the paint chip to the nearly neutral effect it has in a traditional living room.

Play your cards close to the vest, literally, until it's too late for him to object.

'This old thing?'

Another piece of timeless marital advice: remove all price tags before bringing accessories into the house.

One decorator remembers a married couple he worked with who were spending a lot of money on their interiors. The husband objected to the $350 charge for a custom pillow, but had no qualms about the overall cost of the job, which totaled over a million dollars. The point is, $350 seems like a lot for a pillow, but it was much more palatable when rolled into a larger bill, sparing him the mystery of the high costs of cushions.

Lastly, it's important to remember that a successful merging of two people's furnishings is all about that old marital bulwark, compromise. If you allow the main rooms to represent a blending of your two personalities, then you can reserve a cozy corner or sun porch as your own personal space, filled with only the things you love, painted any color you choose.

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